Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Wish List

Mark sent me a message the other day telling me that he really doesn’t need any material things for Christmas (he is getting some, though!). He said he has been thinking a lot lately about the things he would really like to experience before he dies. He did ask family to just give him money this year instead of other gifts because he wants to be able to travel some places with me. I know a lot of people have several things they would like to experience/accomplish in their life time. Mark has always had a list of things, but he has realized now how short life can really be. I attended a service last week for a lady in Plano who had Glioblastoma. I know that made me really think a lot more about life and how quickly we can leave here and I guess it has done the same for Mark. Anyway, Mark sent in his message 4 things he would really like to do before he is called home. Here is what he sent:

1) Meet George W. Bush
2) Meet Dr. James Dobson
3) Go on a ride-along in a cop car
4) Meet/ride along with a specific lady we see on the show “Police Women of Dallas”

He sent the list to his parents as well. I guess that his mom had the same sense of urgency to make these things happen that I did. Without talking to each other, we each went right to work. :) Mark’s mom has written a letter to President Bush to see if it would be possible for Mark to meet him. She has a mutual friend with him and also has some personal ties to his wife because she is from Midland and went to the same school, a year ahead, of Laura. That would just be so amazing for it to work out, so I’m going to pray extra hard for that one! I called a lady that follows my blog who is with Focus on the Family. Although Dr. Dobson is no longer with Focus, she is working there to see if she can help me get something worked out so that Mark can meet him. A friend of mine said she knows somebody that could probably set us up with a ride along with a police officer. I’m not sure how to begin with the 4th request. Do any of you happen to know Sergeant Tracy Jones? :)

I hope that we are able to make those things happen for Mark, and I especially pray that God gives us a LOT of time to do them! I had a particularly hard time after going to the service for the lady in Plano. I know her family is happy that she was able to survive almost 5 years with Glioblastoma. She passed away last Friday and last Sunday was 5 years since the day she was diagnosed. It is rare for people to survive that long with this cancer, since the prognosis is only 14 months. I always say how happy I am that Mark is doing so well and I feel like he will certainly live longer than the 14 months. After this lady passed away, however, I wasn’t feeling so grateful. I felt very angry with cancer. (I still have not been angry with God. I still know that He sees the big picture, and I can’t. He has proven that He will take care of us no matter what the timing will be. But, I get very mad at stupid cancer!) I cried and cried until I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream that I don’t care if Mark survives TEN years, IT IS NOT ENOUGH!! I felt like being a child and stomping my foot hard on the ground and yelling, “Not FAIR!” This can’t be happening to my sweet husband. He is such a good person. He is a man after God’s own heart. He is an amazing father and a wonderful husband. He works hard and honestly. He cares about other people. He is loving and kind. So WHY does HE have terminal brain cancer? He doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t drink, he isn’t overweight. He is very healthy other than the cancer. I just kept asking why and thinking that it is not fair. I felt very angry for several days. I finally came back to the point where I can be thankful for each day. Every day IS a blessing and a gift. Mark reminded me that we just have to look forward to as much future as we may have and live each day to the fullest and try to accomplish everything we can while we have the time.

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